Stories

I had a very good conversation. I didn’t realise it was THE Talk to God Booth when I rolled my bike into the biggest phone booth I had ever seen. I saw the antique receiver and picked it it up. “Hello. It’s God” 🙂 the voice in the earpiece said. I started off with “Thank you”… and it went from there. I told God that I was planning on coming out to be congruent with my preferred gender that year at the Burn. He said, “Well if you can’t do that at Burning Man, Where can you do it?” At the end I said, “God… you’re Good! You’re a good God!”

I was God. I am God?

I was actually nervous right when the first person picked up… what if I didn’t know what to say? or the wrong thing? then… it just clicked. the way that improv/roll playing works so effortlessly on this playing field… dynamic interactions indeed.

slobs goobers doers groovers lüvers

In ’17, my boyfriend was on the phone with God and whatever they were talking about led God to believe that we were asking for a threesome. So God grabbed their bike and met us at the phone booth. We had to break the news to God that there had been a misunderstanding. God was very good natured about it and took us over to meet the God that replaced them when they came to meet us. We didn’t have a threesome with that God, either.
#missedopportunities #missedconnections

One of my first burns I had a hilarious Abbott and Costello routine with God where I asked what I should do since I had just taken LSD for the first time in 30 years and she said “well, first of all you should wear sparkle pants”. (Which of course I had on) and then she said “just say ‘Yes’ to everything.” And then in various all-the-ways intonations I said “yes?” “Yes” “yessssss???” Yes!” For what seemed like 10 mins. Thanked her and had an amazing evening. Saying yes to basically everything.

Are you there God? It’s me Avalo.

I just wanted to write to thank you for saving my burn in 2004. Actually, you saved my girlfriend’s burn, and the goodness rippled out in all directions. I downloaded your podcast and heard angels in the heavenly firmament talking about their experience meeting her. I’m so glad that the gift of divine connection echoes in the aether to this day. I witnessed the divine encounter from a temporal displacement.

How it happened was thusly: It was a dark and dusty night when we arrived on a desolate patch of alkali desert. I did my best to create order with tools at my disposal. All was in vain. Disorder crept in despite my best efforts to keep it at bay. My girlfriend was a great enthusiast of things that are orderly. She was totally distraught that I was unable to tame the winds or prevent playa dust from accumulating everywhere, sullying everything. We survived the night with the winds of change shaking the nylon tent hither and thither.

In the morning, the winds had stilled and brilliant colors, art and festivity blossomed all around us, I smiled, refreshed. She however was dour and had little to say. She exclaimed in Japanese, “How could you bring a beauty-loving person like me to an ugly place like this?” I was somewhat astounded. Everything was beautiful in my eyes. But then I realized I wasn’t seeing that from her perspective, all she saw was the playa dust. I was seeing the people, the art and the joy of the others around me. I contemplated my sin and asked for forgiveness. I learned from this that nobody should every be brought to the playa. Everyone must find their own way, only if the desert calls to them. I offered to pack up to leave. She said no. She was just going to go for a walk.

The rest I heard in retrospect when she was singing your glorious praises. She’d no sooner started walking across the playa when she came to a phone booth labeled “Talk to God.” She went in and started talking about her sense of upset and was amazed to hear Japanese through the receiver! She felt very relieved that she could complain and rant in her mother tongue and be so well heard. God told her to go hang out at a camp where there were lots of Japanese burners, advice she promptly followed.

When she came back to our tent a couple of hours later, she was very happy. She’d decided that she really loved Burning Man and that she was excited to stay for the rest of the week. She decided that her gift to the playa was to write with her elegant calligraphy on the temple and all other wooden structures that were scheduled to burn that week.

The next year she insisted that she wanted to return. In 2005 she wanted to come in the guise of Durga. I’m not sure what your take is on Durga, I suppose Durga is you and you are Durga. But wanted to offer you this tale of your divine inspiration and the effect that it had on her. Thank you for bringing about works of tremendous inspiration and insight on the playa and elsewhere!

Hello everyone, this is God. I missed speaking to thousands of you this year. Since you all ask for advice and pray for shit only after you find yourself needing me, I have one crucial nugget of wisdom to bestow upon you all… STOP complying. Show some balls and vagina. Stick up for yourself before they take every bit of me-given freedom I meant for you all to have.

Jesus Christ people (not really my kid, I promise I didn’t bang Mary… Not my type. And yes I use his name in vain all the time because he’s not a “Lord”), pay attention. You’re all losing the freewill I blessed you with. Don’t let those evil fuckers of politicians take it away from you (yes, they eat babies and worship Satan, it’s not a myth). If you let them take your personal freedom away, you never deserved to have it in the first place…But since I’m God and all, I’m telling you you’re entitled to personal liberties and you have my permission to FIGHT for it. Stop being sheepish pussies. I cannot do this for you. It’s a test and some, no, many of you are failing miserably. Lean into fear and embrace it, do not cower or concede to it.

See you next year… Oh, and Satan does hang out at BRC. While he was gone I sat in his chair to mock him. And here’s a little secret, Satan has a tiny penis, but you probably figured that out by now.

OK humans, Love each other, be charitable, fight for your freedom and Fuck your Burn. See you next year.

(Posted on Facebook: “Burning Man 2021” group)

I didn’t expect to take a call; I was helping the shift change in the Green Room when I was raptured mid-sentence into Heaven at the same time as a guest. I realized my camera was on and said “oh shit” and turned it off, but I don’t think he noticed or heard me — it took a while for his audio to work.
He was a mature man with a deep resonant voice and a laugh to match. I asked if he had a request from me, and he laughed and said no, he was just here for the experience. He told me he’s from rural Tennessee and asked where I was. I nearly said “Washington state” before I remembered Who I am. I said “I’m everywhere” and he laughed and said “of course”. He told me he’d been to Burning Man six times. He said there aren’t many people where he lives who would understand, so he doesn’t talk much about it. I suggested he tell them he was able to make a deep and sacred connection with God, but don’t mention the phone booth. He thought that was a good idea and that his neighbors could relate to that. He asked whether there were others here or it was just me and him; I said “from my perspective it’s just me; but you’re part of me.” He liked that answer. Since he seemed interested in how the installation works, I told him he could learn more buy clicking the blue “I want to help” at the bottom of the website. He told me to thank everyone for this wonderful and memorable experience.

Love the site. It’s the first time I’ve “spoken to god” in years. Perhaps consider offering this year round or at least more than just this one week of the year. I feel we need more divine godly love in this world , as perhaps more of this will help sort out some of the problems on earth. In my experience, those who have lost faith /never had – are a big problem in medicine and science. Thanks for the consideration and god bless.

(Shared through Contact page at talktogodvirtual.com.)